by Jane Aficionada
“Necessity is the Mother of Invention.”
Who said that, anyway? Actually, it’s an old English proverb. The Spanish version of that proverb is “for a poor man, everything is [a matter of] appearance.” (Huh?)
But back to where we started . . .
One summer evening a young woman was standing in her friend’s kitchen when the friend said,
“HEY! Want a shot of tequila?!”
The woman replied, “Well, golly. I’ve never had a shot of tequila.”
“Well, golly,” her friend said. “Like, you’re kidding, right?”
“Uh, no. I’ve lived a sheltered life.”
“Alrighty then,” her friend said with a mischievous smile. "I’m gonna show you how to do it!”
The Tequila Drinking Lesson
The friend took out a bottle of tequila, cut a lime into slices, and brought out two shot glasses and a salt shaker. After pouring a healthy shot of tequila into each of the shot glasses, she proceeded to give detailed instructions:
“So open your left hand and lick between the top of your index finger and thumb.”
“Just do it.”
The woman followed her friend’s orders and licked her hand gingerly. (Sort of like a dog would lick a stranger real quick on the first meeting.)
“OK, now what,” she asked?
“Take the salt shaker and pour salt onto the wet spot.”
The woman poured the salt.
“OK, now lick the salt, drink the shot — and do it quickly! That’s the fun.”
“Uhhh, suck the salt . . ."
“NO! LICK the salt!”
“Oh. Now whaa?” the woman asked with her tongue sticking out with the salt all over it.
“DRINK the shot!”
“Hey, gimme a bweak! Thith can be complicathed if you’re a novith!”
The woman drank the shot and sucked the lime. At first she puckered her face. Then she slowly smiled as the tequila rolled happily down her goozle (that’s southern for throat, by the way) and into her bloodstream.
“Oooh,” she said with a grin. Let’s do it again! But wait. I have to get it straight in my head: Lick the salt, drink the shot, suck the lime . . . lick, drink, suck.
“That’s it!” the friend exclaimed. “You’ve got it! Now let’s take this party outside on the deck on a beautiful summer evening and lick, drink, suck until the cows come home!”
“Hold on,” the woman said. “This is downright messy. You have one salt shaker, the lime slices are all over the place, and you spilled the tequila when you moved your shot glass. How are we going to carry all of this — and a bottle of tequila — outside?
Everything needs to be in one place so we can move around while we lick, drink, suck!
And THAT is how the Lick. Drink. Suck.® shot-of-tequila kit was born!
The woman worked day and night over many months to create Lick. Drink. Suck.® shot-of-tequila kits. She invented the patent-pending tequila saucer, and included shot glasses and salt shakers in the kit for every tequila lover (including tequila novices) to enjoy — and she lived happily ever after!
You could live happily ever after, too, with your own Lick. Drink. Suck® shot-of-tequila kit! Take a look at our official Tequila Aficionado shot-of-tequila set. You’re going to love it so much you’ll want to buy one for yourself and one for a friend!
(And that would actually allow three of your best friends to Lick. Drink. Suck.® with you. We can see you trying to do the math here. Look — you get two of everything in a box set, so if you get two box sets, that’s four people who get to Lick. Drink. Suck.® —YOU, plus three others. Get it now? And there's no end to how much you can multiply the fun!)
BONUS: There's even room on the plate for your munchies! It's like winning the lottery! OK. Maybe not quite that much fun, but you get the picture.